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Association executives and volunteer leaders have something in common: We all want to work better together for the good of the association. So, why does it sometimes seem difficult?
The simple answer? We’re all different. We come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives and goals. These differences can give rise to confusion, misunderstandings and sometimes personal agendas.
The question that follows is this: How do we get beyond all this noise and work more collaboratively? We can’t always change other people, but we can take action ourselves. So, in no particular order, consider these four “golden rules”:
- Be respectful. It seems elementary that to be respected, we must respect others. While some people start with a premise of respect toward others until trust is broken, others feel respect must be earned.
But being respectful is a choice we can make. To do so, keep in mind that everyone has something to contribute, whether it’s agreeability, a new twist on someone else’s idea or a fresh way to look at a situation.
It can be harder to be respectful of people who offer a contrary opinion—and who do so in an aggressive manner. But maybe they see something others don’t, and they’re expressing it in their style. It’s human nature to have strong reactions to a dissenting view—especially one offered in a combative way—but try to remember that there’s always something we can learn. As the saying goes, showing respect to people, especially when you think they don’t deserve it, is a reflection of your character, not theirs. - Consider the needs of others. Everyone wants to contribute and feel significant, whether the person is paid or a volunteer. In that search for significance, it’s possible for a staff person or volunteer to blur the lines of who does what. When communicating with others, that person might not be thinking about their role but instead about their input.
So, if someone steps over a line, rather than getting upset and starting to defend your territory, stop and think about what that person needs. Most likely, they simply want to contribute. They want to add value, and the desire to add value may not go any deeper than that. - Listen for understanding. Can we truly say we always listen to understand what others are saying—or are we too busy formulating our reply to listen? If we’re honest, most of us would probably admit that we aren’t actually listening as carefully as we should.
To have an idea of what it means to really hear what someone is saying, imagine you’re blindfolded and can’t be distracted by things going on around you. This forces you to genuinely hear. In your next conversation, you’ll likely find you are less defensive and more responsive.
You can also develop the habit of responding with, “If I hear you correctly, you’re saying XYZ,” to ensure you fully understand the conversation. You can also use a form of this to clarify meaning when communicating through email, which is known for creating confusion and misunderstanding.
If someone steps over a line, rather than getting upset and starting to defend your territory, stop and think about what that person needs.”
